Tag Archives: love

United We Stand, Divided We Are Inclined Towards?

TWEET: It’s sad to know people who actually create new religions! Aren’t there a lot of religions out there already?

This got me a little vocal over the weekend as I responded to the author in a series of exchanges trying to get him to be a little more open-minded. I tried appealing to his gay side by asking him to switch “religion” with another word like “sexuality”. His response was that didn’t apply as it was totally different in context.

Funny how people sometimes can apply a concept like freedom to areas that matter personally at the same time deny that concept to others in areas they are not open to.

People thought the world was flat once and put those who said it was round to death. We’ve come a long way from that era but at the same time it seems we haven’t.

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” -Galileo Galilei. I don’t think a day will come when we can claim to have discovered everything and to know all truths.

There’s too much “there’s no such thing as…” or “you can’t think ths way” or “you’re not allowed to love this way” or “you cant worship this way”. Someone said this and I believe it strongly too. “If only we just see how much we have in common rather than focus on the differences there would be more uniting than dividing in our world.”

Lofty ideal? Maybe … but the thing is to keep trying at least. I’d rather live in a world united than a divided segregated place 🙂

PinkDot SG – What To Expect

PinkDot2009
Volunteers arrive earlier and after a briefing from the organizers everyone helps the set up of things. The year I was helping we were blowing balloons, decorating the park, giving directions, handing out ground sheets and all kinds of pink things that had been contributed.

People from all walks of life arrive once things are ready. You get to see a diverse group of visitors; solo visitors who don’t know anyone, families who love their gay kids, married couples, groups with young kids, guys and girls with pets, students, army personnel, bloggers and tweeple from Singapore and Malaysia, TV personalities and theatre performers who are mostly decked out in pink. A close friend was even talking to this old lady in Chinese who asked why we were all gathered and she said “love is good …. love is good”.

Different groups take turns to perform; pink lions and dragons doing traditional Chinese ceremonial performances, Malay dikir barat groups, dance groups and singers so entertainment is aplenty. When the photographers are ready ushers come around to get people into the centre of the park where there’s more singing and moving speeches. The tribute is to love which everyone present understands and believes in.

PinkDot2009The thing that really touched me at PinkDot is how friendly and helpful everyone is. Its easy to get people to participate in activities and strangers seem quick to share conversation, food, drinks, groundsheets, fans and whatever there is. Sounds of laughter, faces smiling, singing, picture taking, goofing around, warm embraces and words of love abound. I’m sure I’m not the only one who wishes for this kind of openness and camaraderie to be something we see throughout the year rather than only at special occasions.

The event ends after the pictures and videos of everyone gathered making pink dot have been taken.

Everyone who came helps clear up their bit of trash and the park looks rather pristine without the organizers having to work overtime cleaning up after.

Sharing pictures and stories of the day usually gets people in Taiwan, Malaysia and Thailand wishing there were there too.

If you believe in love and if you would like to witness kindness and warmth in action come make PinkDot this 18 June 2011 at Singapore’s Hong Lim Park.

———-
What To Wear : something light and cool …. and PINK!!
What To Bring : food and drinks … it’s a great place to have a picnic. a matt to sit on is a good idea too and don’t forget your camera. a bag to keep all your trash would really be appreciated
What To Do : get involved with the activities or just sit at the sides and enjoy the entertainment and seeing so many people with eager open hearts come together
Who To Come With : anyone and everyone is welcome! come with your neighbour, your uncle or aunties, your parents, your siblings, your camp mates, your school mates, your pets or even by yourself 🙂
tweet me @scorpiojerm if you’re coming by yourself and I’ll be happy to come and say “Hi”

Sparks & Fizzle

New Year fireworks in Bratislava.
Image via Wikipedia

Strangely enough I’ve been persuaded out of hermit mode and dating a few people. It’s been interesting to connect with people again on a romantic level. I’ve been single for 3 years now and as 40 approaches, there are moments I wish for the presence of someone in my life besides my close friends. This has led to a few instances where I’ve thought of taking things a little further.

Which brings me to this debate that I’ve been having with myself; a quieter and possibly stabler kind of companionship or one that gets your heart beating faster with sparks and fizzle?

The various guys are all charming and very eligible and we connect on a sane and sensible level but it isn’t a case where there are pangs of longing or bouts of missing him. It’s a kind of connection that is more head than heart.

I almost forgot what it was like to have sparks fly until this kid 13 years younger started chasing me and managed to get me beneath the sheets. It was subsequently revealed to me that this guy was attached so I put a stop to things. But there were fireworks and talking + cuddling at length after made me rethink about taking things further with the other more mature and sensible guys.

I’m getting to the point where I can commit to someone whom there aren’t exactly fireworks with and slowly work at things so deeper feelings develop. But I’m also reminded that sparks & fizzle do make a connection electrifying.

Sigh … I guess the romp that was thrown at me is life’s way of reminding me about what I’ve forgotten in hopes that I consider carefully before making a decision.

Jury is still out on this issue … I’ll let me head and heart ponder a little more and maybe hold out a while longer to see if I do meet someone who stirs both head and heart.

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First Time: Taking Responsibility

A friend shared with me a situation he got himself into when he met this guy who might be gay seemed attracted to him. He placed himself in situations that allowed this guy to express interest and they finally ended up in bed together. He then found out it was this guy’s first time with another man.

The normal pattern of behaviour followed where he got enamoured with my friend with regular texting and calls to stay in touch. My friend kept his distance and thought it better for things to cool down. He almost thought he might want to cut off all contact.

My point of view is that this is like getting a woman pregnant. One needs to take responsibility for ones action’s.

For me, the responsible thing to do is to help this guy transition into this new world that he’s stepped into with his first intimate encounter with another man. The acknowledgment, tentative explorations, coming out, dealing with and accepting process can be difficult and emotionally overwhelming and I think it would be gentlemanly to take some responsibility to help guide this guy through these sometimes confusing moments. The way a person is helped deal at this point will affect his journey to being a well-balance gay person.

You can turn out bitter and jaded quickly with subsequent negative encounters where you’re treated like a piece of meat or you can meet hecklers who make you turn tail and locked in a closet for fear of discrimination or you can be pretty happy and Ok with things ’cause someone showed you that finding a trusting & supportive network or people who’ll be there for you as you age and mature through life is possible.

Single At 38

As my 38th year looms nearer I’ve been asked countless times why I’m still single. I thought only straight people will be plagued by this kind of incessant questioning as the race is for some of them to get married and procreate. When the questioning get’s a little intense, there are times I wish I could make true the adage “curiosity killed the cat”. But I’m a peace loving creature, most of the time, so all I do is grin and sometimes lace my answers with arsenic.

Thanks to technology and whacked out developers with loads of free time, Facebook now has an application which tells how many of your friends are “taken” or “single” and I consistently see high % numbers for “single”. One friend had 82% of friends listed as “single”. So I can conveniently use this application to support an argument that IT’S BLOODY HARD TO GET TAKEN!

Quite a few people have expressed that they’re trying to stop being so picky when it comes to potential guys they get involved with. I gave that thought all of five seconds before something inside me yelled, “Are you nuts! You’re gonna possibly spend another 40 to 50 yrs with this person. If there’s so much you’ve got to put up with now, imagine how much more you’ll need to tolerate with the passing of the decades.”

Patience is a quality one develops more of with age as the passing of the months and years seem less consequential and you’re sometimes prepared to bide your time and wait. This patience for me however doesn’t seem to extend to relationships.

The thing with aging is that you sometimes get a little “wiser” and that leads to all kinds of complications. Things are not so simple anymore and you know a little better what you want out of life and a relationship.

So with this wisdom coupled with a willingness to be patient, I conclude with these lines rephrased:

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of it all
He’s gotta be strong-willed
And he’s gotta be fast-witted
And he’s gotta be fresh with me at nite
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light
I’ve gotta be sure
Not necessarily soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life!