First Time: Taking Responsibility

A friend shared with me a situation he got himself into when he met this guy who might be gay seemed attracted to him. He placed himself in situations that allowed this guy to express interest and they finally ended up in bed together. He then found out it was this guy’s first time with another man.

The normal pattern of behaviour followed where he got enamoured with my friend with regular texting and calls to stay in touch. My friend kept his distance and thought it better for things to cool down. He almost thought he might want to cut off all contact.

My point of view is that this is like getting a woman pregnant. One needs to take responsibility for ones action’s.

For me, the responsible thing to do is to help this guy transition into this new world that he’s stepped into with his first intimate encounter with another man. The acknowledgment, tentative explorations, coming out, dealing with and accepting process can be difficult and emotionally overwhelming and I think it would be gentlemanly to take some responsibility to help guide this guy through these sometimes confusing moments. The way a person is helped deal at this point will affect his journey to being a well-balance gay person.

You can turn out bitter and jaded quickly with subsequent negative encounters where you’re treated like a piece of meat or you can meet hecklers who make you turn tail and locked in a closet for fear of discrimination or you can be pretty happy and Ok with things ’cause someone showed you that finding a trusting & supportive network or people who’ll be there for you as you age and mature through life is possible.