Meeting people and going out on several dates over the past few years I’ve realised that finding a connection is sometimes hard. Both parties worry about awkward moments and we fret too much at times over what the other thinks so much so that we run headlong into tongue-tied moments. Then there are moments that follow a wonderful & lively exchange where we find ourselves a little lost and wondering what to talk about next.
Not everyone has the gift of the gab and hitting things off constantly with sparks of chemistry flying doesn’t always happen like in the movies or fairy-tale romantic situations.
This article from Third Age entitle “The Art Of Flirting” is quite a fun read and some of the pointers are great ideas to help with those first few dates and conversations.
We are all familiar with the first few pointers like using flattery and making immediate, direct eye contact but here are a few of my favourites:
- Repeat the Person’s Name
- Ask “No One Ever Asked Me That Before” Questions
- To Get Subtle Attention — Whisper
There’s even a pretty good guide on how to do a proper “double take”!
Add all these to your bag of tricks along with your thoughts on things you’re passionate about and you’re likely set for a great time.
One piece of advice I’d offer is to try and notice how much of an exchange there is early on. By exchange I mean does he/she ask you the same questions to find out just as much about you, does he/she initiate reaching out to you by texting, calling, MSNing or saying things to you that make you smile.
Sometimes it takes a few dates for the other person to reciprocate and participate in this exchange because they need time to warm up but this should happen. If you don’t notice it happening, then it’s a good idea to follow the Third Age article’s Pointer #17 : Use the Old 1-2-3 Routine.
This is jumping ahead a bit but I these thoughts are in our head when we date anyway so I thought i’d finish this post with two lessons I’ve been taught by watching two long-term couples (12 yrs & 16 yrs) who are dear friends of mine:
Bringing Out The Best In Each Other: you both should amplify each other’s positives. With him/her, you find depths of patience, character, understanding and strength that you didn’t realise you had.
Saving Each Other From Ourselves: you both see each other’s short-comings, mistakes, stubbornness and flaws and are able to help each other curb them a little, stay clear of them or learn from these mistakes made.
Have a great day everyone and happy dating, falling & staying in love.
