Comments on: I can’t believe you’re still single!?

By: mushymellow

mushymellow — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:38:15 +0000

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I agree that staying “attached” is somewhat more difficult … imho, it’s especially so for our plu community.
Besides the usual issues that “plague” couplehood, I think that another layer of complication for gay couples (which does add a strain to the relationship) is staying closeted yet attached. How do you sustain the relationship when you can’t even openly acknowledge that you’re in a relationship?

Of cos, an “easy” solution is to be out and proud … but with circumstances like 377A and working in certain offices (particularly certain govt agencies), it presents a Kafka-esque dilemma.

So, it really becomes an uphill battle to sustain a relationship, which Oscar Wilde describes aptly as the love that dare not speak its name.

By: seaweeds

seaweeds — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:26:42 +0000

mmmmmmmmm gegegegegee

By: JermynToh

JermynToh — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:48:31 +0000

hahaha ….

if never try u won’t know right?

By: seaweeds

seaweeds — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:21:23 +0000

mmmmmmm …… can snuggle anot ? gegegge

By: JermynToh

JermynToh — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 01:05:53 +0000

i get the DVD of the Asian Boys Vol2 performance if possible and watch with u lor … bet u u’ll cry buckets

By: runecircle

runecircle — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:21:34 +0000

i understand. the end all be all to existence isn’t being in a relationship. agreed

By: shayan

shayan — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:58:54 +0000

completely with you on this post. that’s why i feel that those relationships that have worked are nothing short of miracles.

By: seaweeds

seaweeds — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:40:33 +0000

egggsaglyyyy .... it is the "u are my half ... u complete me" nonsense thinking which creates all sorts of stupid and unfulfillable expectations on the other .. whilst one conveniently FORGETS that one also needss to bring positive things to the table ...

this half half thing is just another symptom of a "me me me take take take take" mentality so prevalent around us ..

*screws up face in THAT expression*

will u watch it wid me ? gegegegege

By: JermynToh

JermynToh — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:43:24 +0000

i’d like to offer a different perspective on friends.

i’ve some friends whom i’ve known for 20 over years …. facebook is a wonderful tool to help me reconnect with some of my friends from childhood and the common thread to all these reunions is that we’ve realised how much we miss each other and that surprisingly … we love each other.

i have a group of frens who i know with pretty much certainty that i’ll grow old with. Shao Ann and Robin are among them.

Time has tested our friendship and we’ve done the betraying, cheating and disappointing each other but we’re still together as friends and we hold a special place in each other’s hearts and lives.

So although I know of friends who’ve betrayed, cheated and hurt me terribly … till the point where i was incapable of making new friends … I still have faith in the love and frenship I share with my frens

my current expectations of wat a person who shares my life is to be like is based on seeing 10, 12 15 yr couples together on a regular basis and watching their daily interactions. listening to them talk about each other … the good and the bad … watching them renew their love for each other in commitment ceremonies, hearing from their friends about how they stay together …. all this has help adjust my “prince charming” perspective

I’m irritated with the remark because I think its a bigger challenge to be attached than to be single.

also from the point of view that society should not make single people feel inadequate … singlehood should also be celebrated

By: runecircle

runecircle — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:04:18 +0000

Hmm, friends never last either, though. Friends can betray and cheat and hurt you just as badly. You don't necessarily age with your friends.

If I may, I think you are also (understandably) somewhat caught up with believing in Cinderella dreams--not of "needing" a Prince Charming, but rather, of what a Prince Charming is to be. Maybe that's why you are irritated when people remark that "I can't believe you're still single"? Just a guess.

I think humans naturally seek companionship. They go mad in isolation.